Pilot Humor

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of her throughout the entire flight.

He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, ‘Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?’ The blind lady replied, ‘No thanks, but maybe Buddy would like to stretch his legs.’

Picture this:

All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!

The pilot was even wearing sun glasses.. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

Remember…

Things aren’t always what they appear.

Obscure humor

Q: What tool is used to measure a hole in the head?

A: A Phineas gage.

A red blood cell walked into a busy restaurant. The hostess asked, “Would you like to sit at the bar?”
The red cell answered, “No thanks, I’ll just circulate.

Why did the magnet see a magnet therapist?
It was bi-polar.

I’m so excited! My first authentic Nigerian scammer!!

Sure I’ve gotten the bulk mail scams from “Mrs. Colonel Akrun Abnor” asking for my help in getting $40,000,000 of her late husband’s money out of the country. But this is the first time it’s been personal.

This scam is different in that the scammer had to do a bit of work first to identify me as a target. It looks like the strategy was to appear as a legitimate reseller with a largish order and when I was looking forward to getting the order, slip in the scam.

They started off asking about distribution terms for our software. It was a bit odd that someone in New Zealand would write a letter where English was clearly not the native language, but it happens. I sent them pdf’s of our terms and price lists. They didn’t appear to actually read the emails I sent and asked for price lists. Now that information is on our website and included in the distribution terms that I sent them. It’s also a bit odd that they want to resell something and they didn’t have a clue about what the list price was. So it started to be a bit odd, but I’ve had real customers to the same thing—usually when one of their customers wants a bunch of software and also wants some of our titles. So I went along and we exchanged a few emails.

Now, several emails later, they placed an order for $2,300 which is fairly large sized for me. They also told me that they needed it quickly. Even though I told them that it would be very expensive, they wanted me to ship to New Zealand with UPS or FedEx. But UPS couldn’t find the address that they gave me for shipping. They hadn’t given me a postal code and when I asked for it and verification of the address, they said their agent in LA (a 4 hour drive away) would pick the software up. However, they used the zip code for Louisiana (LA) instead of Los Angeles.

Up to that point, I figured that they weren’t the best communicators and their knowledge of California geography was sketchy, but I’ve had legitimate orders with almost as much confusion. But their final email makes it an official scam. They want me to assist them in making a purchase from another vendor.

They’re probably targeting small companies, raising your expectations with each email, hoping you’ll feel invested in the process, and wanting the money badly enough to go along with their scheme.

Beware.

On Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 1:11 PM, Sales Support wrote:

On Jun 19, 2009, at 1:13 PM, Joy Jnr wrote:

On Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 1:45 PM, Sales Support wrote:

On Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 1:59 PM, Joy Jnr wrote:

On Fri, Jun 19, 2009 at 2:07 PM, Sales Support wrote:

I know how this scam works using fake cashier’s checks or money orders, but I’m not sure how they do it with credit cards. I’m guessing that the credit card number is stolen but the card isn’t and that I’d get a chargeback when the owner of the card got the bill.

I like the way they try make you feel guilty about not going along with their scheme. Oh and they’ll give me $100 for my trouble. As an aside there are 10 Western Union offices in Wellington, NZ. Up until they asked me to help with purchasing “other items i ordered from different countries” (which makes no sense), they could have been any of a half dozen legitimate customers I’ve had over the years.

I was a bit surprised that I didn’t get at least one more pleading email, but I guess they had other prospects that looked more promising.

And just in time for this post, I got a simple Nigerian scam from the Ivory Coast.

And for something different, a puppy scam. I love the commas instead of periods, the complete lack of paragraphing, and the avoidance of plurals. The way this one works is that you wire money for the puppy and then “unanticipated expenses” delay the shipment and you need to wire just a few dollars more and everything will be OK. The scam continues as long as you send money.

And here’s a new one. The FBI found some of my money! Grammar’s not too bad but clearly not a native speaker. Scammers do seem to have a preference for the phrase “the sum of”. And what’s with the USD? This clearly marks the mail as originating from overseas—not from the FBI.

Maybe it’s just me, but I’d be much more likely to believe that some government agency owed me a few hundred dollars and they put it on a debit card than that they owe me the sum of 2.5 million dollars.

And another from New Zealand. I guess the scammers don’t realize that people in New Zealand speak English and their choice of words and punctuation is odd. They do appear to have learned that excessive politeness isn’t a characteristic of English prose.

Update 2009-09-13. The standard scam. I haven’t seen one of these for a while.

Anti-vax death watch

A four-week-old baby died from whooping cough recently because vaccine rates are too low in that part of Australia to provide herd immunity. A heart rending appearance by the parents is available on YouTube with more details at Bad Astronomy.

A correspondent for the Guardian was “lucky”. His 11 month-old daughter didn’t die from measles—she just had to go through needless suffering because parents in his part of England aren’t vaccinating their children. His child was too young for the MMR vaccine—it is usually given at 13 months—and should have been able to rely on herd immunity to keep her free from the disease. Unfortunately, vaccine rates have dropped all over England and preventable diseases are making a comeback.

In an article on Friday he made an analogy that sums the situation up eloquently.

The decision by many of my neighbours not to vaccinate their children is on a par with the drunk who decides to get into his car to drive home. It is a personally reckless action that also endangers the lives of everyone else on the road. Society should view the MMR refuseniks with the same degree of scorn.